My Hollow Knight Movie Dream Cast Script

That’s it. I’m done. I’ve been watching Daily Silksong News every day for the past 1200 days. I’ve watched every Nintendo Direct. Every Game Awards. Every E3 event when that was still a thing. I even watched the Ubisoft events just in case. I did all that in the hopes of even just a sliver of Silksong news. But that all ends today. It’s clear Team Cherry are never going to give us news about this game. They just don’t care anymore. So I’m not even going to bother checking the news today. There’s not going to be anything. I am 100% sure of that. So instead, I’m just going to keep talking about Hollow Knight. Sure. it’s a 7 year old game at this point, but there are still a ton of interesting topics left to discuss with it.

For example, with the wild success of Hollow Knight, and the newfound interest in video game adaptations among Hollywood studios, I think it's safe to say we are 100% getting a live action Hollow Knight movie sometime in the next three years. But the question many are wondering is who will be cast to play the various characters in Team Cherry's epic adventure game.

I've put a lot of thought into this very question, and I'd like to present to you my findings after conducting extensive research on the subject.

Chris Pratt as the Knight - Now, I know what you're thinking. It would be a crime to cast Chris Pratt in a role like this. Pratt has an incredible voice range. We've all seen Super Mario Bros. We’ve all seen the new Garfield movie. He perfectly captured those characters. His voice acting was so good I couldn't even tell it was him! And yet, I'm saying he should play the voiceless Knight! Am I crazy?

No, actually. I think there's a very simple solution to all this. Let the Knight talk. I don't think letting the Knight talk would fundamentally change the core story of Hollow Knight in any meaningful way, so I think this will be a really good change and still honor the original game. And we could get lots of fun one-liners. Like maybe in the Beast's Den, after getting captured, Chris can look at the camera and say "well that just happened".

Zendaya as Hornet - I feel like Zendaya is extremely underrated as an actor, but that changes now. I think playing Hornet could be the breakout role that will finally help Zendaya receive some recognition in Hollywood already. She's perfect for the role of Hornet. She's already been in a movie with spiders, so she can use that experience to play a spider in this movie. And just like Hornet, Zendaya doesn't have a last name. That's called perfect casting.

Dwayne Johnson as The Hollow Knight - Dwayne Johnson, or Dwayne "Rock" Johnson, is another actor who would be perfect for Hollow Knight, specifically, I think he'd be perfect for the role of the titular Hollow Knight itself. Now to play the Hollow Knight, you're going to need to be able to portray a wide number of different emotions such as indifference, apathy, detachment, dullness, emotionlessness and more. And I genuinely believe Dwayne "Rock" Johnson might actually be able to pull off at least half of these emotions. Yes, he's that good of an actor, folks.

Samuel L. Jackson as Zote the Mighty - To capture the sheer epicness of Zote the Mighty, you need an actor who doesn't take shit. A real badass who does what he wants and doesn’t take any shit. And to me, that is Samuel L. Jackson. Just like Zote, he's super cool and he doesn’t take any shit. On top of that, Chris Pratt and Samuel L. Jackson look a lot alike so that's a huge plus too.

Sean Bean as Quirrel - Sean Bean has a reputation for dying in a lot of the movies he's in. That's why I think he'd be perfect for Quirrel.

Anthony Hopkins as Elderbug - Anthony Hopkins is just the best choice for Elderbug. Not only because he's old (Elderbug is old too in case you didn't know), but because he's played a similar role in the past. Hopkins played the demented killer Hannibal Lecter in the 1991 comedy Silence of the Lambs. While not explicitly said in game, it's clear to me that Elderbug is severely mentally disturbed, so I think this casting would actually be really good.

Seth Rogan as Cornifer - There is a serious Seth Rogan deficit in this modern day and age. And that’s surprising to me. The children yearn for this acting genius. Do you want to know how a movie about a stupid lion was able to make over a billion dollars at the box office? Seth Rogan, that’s who.

Emma Stone as Iselda - In order to capture the true spirit of Iselda, we’re going to need someone capable of completely losing themselves in a role. I think Emma Stone is the perfect choice. But it won’t be an easy task. She’s going to have to lean over a desk and loudly say bapanada. It will be one of the most difficult roles an actor will ever have to perform. But if anyone can do it, it’s Emma Stone.

Danny DeVito as Dung Defender - Team Cherry have been pretty vocal about the Dung Defender being based off Danny DeVito. So I think it will make perfect sense for him to play Dung Defender in the movie. I am literally 100% not joking when I say this, but I think Danny DeVito literally lives in a big pile of shit himself. So he’d bring an experience to the role that no one can match.

That one guy from Spy Kids 2 as Sly - I don’t know what it is about that one guy from Spy Kids 2, but I think he’d be perfect for Sly. He’s a bit tall, but we can use camera tricks to make him look shorter. I’m eyeing Peter Jackson to direct this film. The man is an artistic genius. I’m sure everyone has seen his amazing directing skills on display in movies like Bad Taste and The Frighteners. I don’t think he’s directed anything else of note, but hey, everyone deserves another chance.

Oh wait, that’s right. He directed the Hobbit. That one’s pretty great too.

Hey guys, I’m editing this, just, at a crazy time, 10 am in the morning. I’m… never awake at this time but I just had to get this video done. But a big, big story just broke, and I was in the middle of editing and I just had to do this right now.

It turns out that the voice for Sly himself, Graig, even agrees that the guy who played the guy in Spy Kids 2 would be perfect casting. So yeah, I just had to put that in and I just didn’t have time to make it… edit it into the video in any way that isn’t annoying as hell.

Robert Pattinson as Grimm - I’m not even going to explain this one. Seriously, you’d have to be an idiot not to understand why this casting is absolutely perfect. It would be a complete insult to your intelligence as a viewer for me to explain why I think Robert Pattinson should be cast as Grimm in the Hollow Knight live action movie. Basically Robert Pattinson is really hot. 

Betty White as the White Lady - This is an easy one. Betty "White". "White" Lady. It's perfect. Although, I'll be honest. I haven't seen Betty White in anything recently. I haven't been keeping up with the news surrounding her or anything, but I assume she's still acting in stuff. Either way, I'm sure she'd be happy to work on a project like Hollow Knight. She seems like a pretty big gamer to me.

Christian Bale as Pale Wyrm - Christian Bale is famous for his extreme commitment to gaining and losing weight for roles. So I think he would be completely committed to gaining 450,000 pounds to play the Pale King's wyrm form in the Hollow Knight movie. The man is a true auteur.

All that’s left is the Pale King. He’s the most important character in all of Hollow Knight lore. Who will we possibly get to play this character? Well, here’s the thing. We already cast him. That’s right. Chris Pratt. For years, everyone in the community has suspected that the Knight is actually just a reincarnation of the Pale King. And this movie is going to 100% finally confirm it. Hollow Knight loreheads like myself will finally rest easy knowing the truth is out there on the silver screen for everyone to see.

And that’s my cast for the Hollow Knight live action movie. Do you agree with my list? Or are you an fucking idiot? Let me know in the comments below! Look forward to zero Silksong videos from me in the future. Because Silksong isn’t real and it’s never coming out.

Music used:

Dung Defender - Hollow Knight OST